Beating Heart.

Running shoes.

Shorts.

Socks.

Keys.

Running is one of the only things that has ever made sense to me. I cannot believe how alive & still my body feels while pawing at dirt trail and sweating up the spine of mountains. I did not know it at the time, but I grew up in one of the most beautiful areas of the country. High up in the mountains with valleys, peaks, and vistas that people flock to for vacation.

Running is metaphor. Once you exist between two seemingly unrelated objects – like a forest that is so beautiful, but is brimming with people who call your body sick – you learn how to wrap yourself into the tightest ball. At eighteen, I flew 3,000 miles across the country for college – not because I was in love with Boston, but because I was afraid of what I would become in a forest filled with people who were metabolizing queers into dirt.

I run to feel alive. To feel the quiet in my head that is early morning ocean – before any human dares to break its waves. I am still running, but I am remembering now that my family taught me how to root. To sink my hands & feet into soil until I know this body is made stronger by the efforts to unmake it.

On my run today – I told myself that this body is strength. That queer bodies are beautiful in every way. For lunch, I gobble up mangos, plantains, beets, avocados, almonds. They are filling me with nourishment.

I am writing affirmations in my notebook:

Queer people are beautiful.
Queer people are beautiful.
We are beautiful.

– Mango & Avocado Salad –

ingredients.
-1 mango, peeled & diced
-1 avocado, diced
-1 plantain, diced
-1 beet, peeled & diced
-1/2 cup almonds, chopped
– 1 tbs chia seeds
– 1 tbs golden flax seeds
– 1 lemon, juiced
– 1 inch ginger, finely chopped
– 1/4 cup coconut raw flakes 
– 1 cup cilantro

process.
In a large bowl, gently mix together mango, avocado, plantain, and beets. Be sure to mix lately, so as not to smash the avocado or the plantain. Mix in chia seeds, golden flax, lemon, ginger, coconut flakes, and cilantro. Refrigerate (if you would like it cold) and enjoy!